Knowing and Doing,

For What Purpose?

I spent much of my life’s time, energy and personal resources seeking knowledge detrimental to some other important personal activities.

I wanted to know as much as I could about many subjects; economics, money management, business, religion, politics, philosophy, history, science, ecology, government, human behavior, foreign cultures, and many more. It seems now that I found something interesting about nearly everything.

Going and doing were most important to me for what I hope is the first half of my life. Now that I’m less physically capable and less energetic, I’m less driven to go, but still enjoy visiting and learning about other countries and cultures. I’m less driven to do all the things that occur to me that could be done, although I seem to always have a constructive project in the works.

I am still driven to know. I investigate study and learn several new things each day. I have little more idea why now than before. Some interests are clearly driven by personal needs, some by passing curiosity, some by the need to accomplish, some by simple puzzlement.

And so recently I find myself wondering, for what purpose am I drawn to know? All knowledges have a price, some are very costly.

Many subjects I study just to relieve the irritation of not knowing; some just to refine what I know and how I feel about current or historical events; others just to explore alternative beliefs.

In even the most ludicrous ideas and ridiculous humor is often a grain of simple fact or drop of pure truth. And in the most serious subjects and human predicaments is an occasionally uproariously funny moment.

So, the purpose of this quest to know, I’m not sure. It is true I have learned much. Of course, I began knowing little. It wasn’t to beat my parents. They were both well informed, wise, thoughtful and kind for their time.

I was driven to know, not to take advantage, but to use meager resources wisely. I know that often I sought to avoid misery, although not always or strongly. There are things to be learned from misery.

Having almost always had a reasonable amount of money, or able to get some; I have never been destitute or broke. I’ve lost significant amounts by poorly chosen or badly timed decisions. I’ve occasionally spent more than I could lay my hands upon in the short term. I used money wisely and productively for the most part, saved hard and invested carefully in recent decades and have chosen wisely more times than not; but chasing riches only held me captive until my mid thirties when I recognized my mortality and confronted my fallibility.

Monetary wealth is not what drove me to know. It’s a simple task to accumulate; just use much less than you make.

Maybe it is the simple joy of understanding, or the effort of the quest, or the thrill of surprising discovery.

Esteem, some seek status through the display of what they know. I don’t recall doing it, but I’m sure I took pleasure from knowing what others did not.

Developing and nurturing self-esteem is important, so never take things you haven’t earned, to do so damages self-esteem, because no matter what you say or how you are treated, you will always know, you did not deserve it. To learn was easily available, relatively cheap, they couldn’t tax me for it, or easily take it way, and I will always know I earned it.

Whatever the reasons, I would rather know than not know, even the worst things.